Seneschal

Grass seed muse...

2010-07-08T21:20:00.001-05:00

So today I was sowing grass seed in my back yard. I like that sort of leisurely productivity. It was easier than some of our other backyard projects. It made me think about how the Bible says that man’s days are as grass. (Psalm 103) Like life itself, the epic battle we’ve been waging to improve our lawn will ultimately be lost and everything will wither. I need to learn how to accept my limitations.

Then I thought about the parable of the sower. (Matthew 13) No matter how much time we spend marketing and trying to make the gospel engaging, in the end we pretty much have to just toss it out there for people to receive as they will. I am trying to become more of a sower and less of weeder.

This made me think about where Paul said that one plants and another waters, but God makes it grow. (I Corinthians 3:7-8) I will never know what happens in a seed. I am trying to get better at doing the job in front of me and trusting God to do the rest.

I am glad I have a God who teaches me in ways I can understand. I am glad He tells stories and creates beautiful things. I am glad He placed us in a garden.

I filled the bird feeder. Hopefully it will entice some of the birds away from the grass seed. Next we will decide where to make our fire pit. When we do, I am sure God will teach me something more.

One Year Anniversary.

2010-06-13T16:35:00.000-05:00

Very happy time.

The Top Ten Most Mortifying Moments of My Life.

2009-12-21T19:29:00.005-06:00

15. The time I was swimming laps at the gym and a really old guy passed me in the next lane.

14. The time I locked myself out three times in one day.

13. The time I stuck out my tongue and it froze to the zipper of my coat.

12. The other time I stuck out my tongue and it froze to the zipper of my coat.

11. The time I ripped my pants at HyVee.

10. The time I spilt orange juice on the front of my pants at work leaving a big yellow spot (Today actually).

9. The time in college that I caught a dormmate giving someone a "soap man".

8. The time I woke up Sunday morning and we had had a power outage that turned off my alarm clock and made me late to preach.

7. The time I got to church early, all dressed and ready to preach and it turned out it was Saturday.

6. The time I got stuck to the door of my apartment.

5. The time I miss spelt “homeschooled” on my college application.

4. The time I got stuck to my car.

3. The time I went to jail.

2. That one time.

1. That other time.

Best Quotes of 2009

2009-12-06T18:24:00.001-06:00

“Billy, you’re so beautiful it’s distracting.”
Peggy

Polly – “Peggy, stop being weird.”
Peggy – “Dad, Polly called me weird!”
Dad – “Well stop it.”

“I think the poop is perfect!!”
Carrie
(She meant soup)

“Did you see my egg? I made it myself.”
Billy

“The things you could find out if you just asked Jessica.”
Peggy

How to make a school bag.

2009-09-03T20:19:00.004-05:00

1. Go to school.
2. Wear holes in or tear two pairs of pants(one jean and one tanish cargo) and a shirt.
3. Convince your wife that it is not a silly idea(or least that it's ok).
4. Cut and reassemble into a bag(this is the hard part).
5. Call Mom or Bonnie Williams when things get tough.
6. Model extensively.

My new bag has received many compliments. I am thinking about going into business, but I don't think that I can wear my pants out fast enough.

Here are some great pictures of a fun trip.

2009-09-03T20:02:00.007-05:00

A romantic duo.

One of my all time heroes.

Another fun couple.

A cute little girl.

You really had to be there, but this was amazing.

We are victorious and "the most compatible."

A Psalm about me.

2009-08-25T19:44:00.003-05:00

I am small.
In a universe bigger than we know, in a world with millions of people, mountains, and canyons, I am no more than a speck.

I am quiet.
I can shout at the top of my lungs and nobody can hear me even a mile away. In space none of us is heard.

I am weak.
I could not last three minutes without air to breath. I can't go more than ten days without sleep.

I am helpless.
I need food, water, shelter, and warmth or I will die.

I make mistakes.
I can never seem to get it right. I fail over and over again.

You may think I have low self esteem, but I don’t. With all the specks in the universe, God knows me. He recognizes my face in the crowd. He knows my name.

He is big.
And He holds me.

He spoke and the cosmos came into existence.
He calls me by name.

He never tires.
Day and night, He watches over me and keeps me safe.

He needs nothing and no one.
Yet He loves me and treats me as though I were indispensable.

He never fails.
What He says, He will do. He will never let me down. He will keep His promises.

I am valuable to the one that matters. I am loved beyond what I can ever repay. I am blessed beyond my ability to understand. I am held in the arms of one who will never let go.

I am His child.

Why Not Just Get Baptized?

2009-08-21T10:38:00.004-05:00

I know this topic is offensive to many, and that some of you may not even get past the title. But if you are still reading I want to know: why is baptism offensive? Please believe me, I really want to understand. Why is the topic of baptism so bothersome?

If baptism is when we die to sin (Romans 6:2-5), and if it is when we become clothed with Christ (Galatians 3:27), and if it saves us (I Peter 3:21, Mark 16:16) then why not do it? Why not preach it?

Isn’t it kind of like when Elisha told Naaman to go dip in the Jordan if he wanted to be healed and Naaman got mad and left? In the story Naaman’s servant says “Wouldn’t you have done some great thing if he had asked? Why won’t you go when he says ‘wash and be clean’?” (2 Kings 5:1-14) Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will obey Me.” (John 14:15)

So why are we always trying to get out of it? Why not just do it? The Ethiopian Eunuch asked, “What’s to stop me?” (Acts 8:36) Ananias asked Saul, “Why do you delay? Get baptized.” (Acts 22:16)

A Story Problem.

2009-04-12T21:36:00.004-05:00

Jack Wright has two left feet and one right foot. His friend, Lefty Davis, only has one foot which happens to be right. They decided to each buy a pair of shoes and Lefty would give Wright his left, and Lefty would pay for one right shoe while Wright would pay for the two lefts and one right. However, Lefty bought a forty dollar pair while Wright bought a twenty dollar pair.

Lefty wanted to pay fifteen because he bought one quarter of sixty dollars worth of shoes, and Wright wanted to pay thirty dollars because a pair costs twenty and he bought one and a half pairs. Lefty thought Wright owed him fifteen because he had only paid half for three-fourths of the shoes. They couldn’t settle it amongst themselves so they asked their friend Shorty.

Shorty said that because Lefty had been willing to pay for a more expensive shoe, Wright should be willing to pay his price so one and a half pairs of forty dollar shoes would mean that Wright should pay sixty dollars worth of the cost and therefore owed Lefty twenty dollars. Shorty said that otherwise Lefty would be shorted by Wright for the left.

Then Wright’s wife Sue said because Wright had found a better deal Lefty should be willing to pay his price, one half of a twenty dollar pair. Finally Lefty relented and paid ten of the sixty dollars for his right forty dollar a pair shoe at the price of twenty dollars a pair and Wright paid for what was left. Both left happy felling that they were right.

What would be a fair solution?

She said yes...

2008-11-20T19:44:00.000-06:00

Blogging Milestone.

2008-09-29T12:11:00.002-05:00

I have now been blogging exactly one year, and I have come to rely on both its therapy and its ability to keep me connected. Keeping up my blog keeps my thoughts organized, and when I don't blog for a while I feel disorganized and out of touch.

I'm glad I have blogged the little that I have this year because so much has been happening and changing. It has been a busy year and I am glad that I have had a place to chronicle.

Thank you everybody who has read, commented, and encouraged me. And thank you everyone who has kept up their blogs for me to read and feel connected. Hopefully this next year will be better and filled with even more blogging.

In the last few weeks I...

2008-09-25T21:08:00.005-05:00

... sang, prayed, cried, laughed, was inspired, and did a few bell kicks.

... won a ten dollar certificate to Taco Bell and received two free movie tickets from work for my two year anniversary.

... accidentally got spaghetti stuck up my nose in a terrifying episode that has scarred me for life.

... colored pictures with my fellow comrades in Sunday school and listened to a heart convicting sermon.

... worked an exhausting but exhilarating amount of hours bringing me closer to my goal of debt free living.

... got a completely incapacitating toothache that could only be soothed by lots of pain killer, a emergency temporary filling, and the attentions of my incredible and long suffering girlfriend.

... made lots of new bus, nursing home, and street friends who taught me about flowers, told me good stories, discussed general bus philosophy, and gave me candy.

... gained five much needed pounds through eating elephant size portions of food.

... got locked out of my home(for the first time ever in my young life), and had to climb up to the balcony in order to get in in time to get ready for work.

... lost two close friends from work at the nursing home who used to encourage me and make me smile.

... grew in my understanding of God's amazing greatness and love.

And lots lots more.

Update.

2008-09-08T21:45:00.003-05:00

I know! I haven't been posting very often and my many fans are clamoring for news. Here is a very incomplete list of what's been going on:

I have contracted some strange disease. I'm not sure yet what it is, but I've lost arround 45 pounds since christmas and I had a strange blue arm episode that got me sent to the ER. They haven't found anything, and I feel fine. I do have orders to eat more food, though, so I'm going to have to start getting up earlier. I am eating more than I ever have in my life and weigh less than any other time in my adult life. Whatever I have, my friends on the bus are hoping it's contagious.

I was worried about how much all this doctor stuff would cost. Even though I have some insurance, it won't cover everything. Having another big bill to pay means delaying college even more, and I was resigned to the fact that I would have to wait. God, it seems though, was teaching me trust because behind my back a group of my friends raised the money to pay the bill in full! God is so amazing! (I do not have the words to describe it. I cried.)

I have be obsessively studying the book of James. It is making me look for practical ways to enact my faith, and it is making me remember some of the things that are important to God but that I often neglect.

I have also gotten a second job stocking at Target, and besides getting used to overnights, I am enjoying the feelings that come with productivity and am looking forward to paying off some bills. I have also been making plans to attend the Jackpine Retreat on Friday(hope to see you there!) and MnSWAP(Minnesota Statewide Activity Professionals) Conference in October.

So just to make sure everyone is up to date. I am very busy and every day is different. I am living in a beautiful old house in Rochester with three other God-seeking guys, and a condensed amount of personal possessions. Besides Target I am working in activities at Madonna Towers in Nursing Care. And I am dating the most beautiful and Christ-centered girl in the world.

I am changing very fast and each morning I wake up excited about what God is going to do. I am growing in faithfulness, conquering long time struggles, and falling deeper in love with my God.

Need more jokes.

2008-07-29T19:55:00.003-05:00

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
Thank you, I'll never part with this.

What did they do when the town barber went missing?
They combed the city.

I am looking for more new/old jokes. Please post some for me. I especially like ones about bald guys, platypuses, ducks, and sneakers.

A Psalm about Discipline.

2008-07-24T19:02:00.000-05:00

God,

Thank You for trials.
For continuing to teach me
even though I don't pay attention
and I constantly fail tests.

I am beginning to see that this "hard knocks" schooling is effective.
You are using my mistakes to teach me and it's working.
I am not sure how You can still love me,
but i know You do because You still choose to discipline me.

Thank You for overlooking the many times
I've grumbled and complained about my circumstances.
I have nothing to complain about because my problems are small
and You always take care of me.

Thank You for modeling what it means to endure pain.
You haven't asked me to bear any crosses that You haven't born Yourself.
You never once complained.

I know that I will survive my present and be better for it
because You have taken care of me in the past.
I've been taught by You before.

My problems are petty.
The yoke You have given me is easy and the burden is light.
You own me and can do whatever You want with me.
I signed up for this when I gave my life to You.
I am Yours.

Don't stop teaching me, I want to do better.
Don't stop disciplining me, I need to grow.

Mold and reshape me if it will make me better.
Grind away if that's what I need to be sharper.
Hew and cut out the bad parts. I don't want them.
Break me if that's what I need to heal.

You love me and want the best for me.
Even if You kill me, I will trust You.

More Lessons.

2008-07-21T21:15:00.003-05:00

Isn't God amazing? I wish I could adequately express all the things that God has been doing in my life. I am learning so much about my struggles and how to be victorious. Now I am finally at a place in my life where I can feel and see plenty of personal growth and progress. Here are some of the things I am learning right now:

1)I need to be more open about my personal struggles, present spiritual status, and past sins. When I am not fully honest about my struggles my friends don't know how to help me, people often lean on me in ways they shouldn't, and I often make my problems worse by lying to cover them up or avoiding opportunities to fellowship. When I am not open I hurt those around me by shutting them out. Also I am finding that when I am honest with my friends they are more honest with me and I am better able to help them. In light of this I have been actively confessing my sins to many of my mentors and peers.

2)I need to live more simply and be a better steward of what I do have. Even though I am succeeding at living cheaply, I have not been living simply. My numerous possessions and unfocused lifestyle are crippling my ability to serve God. Therefore I am actively ridding my life of clutter and downsizing, limiting the number of projects I undertake at one time, avoiding things that tend to waste my time and resources, and allowing myself to say no to things that are beyond my abilities or won't fit on my plate.

3)I have undervalued the quality of faithfulness and have not sought after it the way I should. (This one is new, but it ties in with some longtime struggles.) On Sundays our minister, Aaron Wager, has been going through a series on the fruit of the spirit and this week it was on faithfulness. He talked about three aspects of faithfulness and the first two really hit home. Faithful people are honest and dependable. These are both massive struggles in my life and yet I don't remember connecting them with faithfulness. That knowledge alone makes me feel better equipped to succeed. In order to be more dependable I have been trying to force myself to stick to a calendar and start projects early.

Tag.

2008-07-19T10:07:00.005-05:00

Okay Tracy. Here it is:

A Accordion or Viola: Both, but I can't play either.
B Best Friend: Big Nose, Herb, Elmer the Stoplight, or Luke.
C Crisp or Pie: Apple Crisp.
D Day of Choice: May 20, 2008.
E Essential Item: Ears.
F Flavor of Ice cream: Vanilla.
G Grass or Worms: Grass.
H Hometown: Warroad, MN.
I Indulgences: The main reason I'm Catholic.
J Jelly or Jam: I never could tell the difference.
K Kids: Just one (because I don't think Herb counts).
L Last movie I saw at the nursing home: Victor Borge Live(but it really wasn't live because it was a movie).
M Musician: Yes. Kazoo.
N Number of Siblings: Yes, there are quite a number.
O Oranges or Strawberries: Apples.
P Phobias or Fears: I don't like either.
Q Quote: "Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx
R Reasons to Smile: Chickens and Dan Locke.
T Tag: Luke, Jimmy, and Jessica.
U Unknown fact: The Platypus has enough poison in it's hind leg to kill a small dog.
V Vegetarian or Carnivore: Cannibal.
W Worst habit: Probably forgetting to wear clothes, but I'm glad I don't have that problem.
X Xerxes or Hezekiah: Hezekiah in the third round.
Y Your favorite: Food.
Z Zoology or Philosophy: Philosophy.

My Sister Polly.

2008-05-15T10:08:00.003-05:00

To my sister Polly, may your 19th year be golden.

To Crystal May Andrews, may you always prosper and your children and grandchildren stay close.

To Dunstan, may your life be filled with beautiful smells and fragrance.

To Opolio, may you never lose your cheery disposition.

To Penelope, may your life be filled with peace.

To Mrs. Mitchell, may you find the man of your dreams.

To my tag-along, may we collaborate many more times.

To my friend, may we always be close.

A Psalm about the Good Life.

2008-05-02T13:26:00.003-05:00

God,

You have humbled me and made me obedient
and now that i am back, You bless me

in this moment, You have made me so happy that i can't express it
right now, my life seems better than it has ever been

how could i ever live without You
why would i want to

when i walk in You, You bless me
when i don't everything goes wrong

in You, i am satisfied and content
in You, i have purpose

i love it that i can talk to You
that i can bring to You my problems

thank You for spring after a long winter
for 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances
for seeing my potential
for forgiving my faults

thank You for changing my surroundings
for shielding me from temptations
thank You for using people to keep me focused
thank You for using scripture as a reminder

i know that You will never leave me
please, don't let me leave You

Things I Like(an incomplete list).

2008-04-28T20:21:00.003-05:00

My awesome, all powerful, creative, and compassionate God.

Books, poetry, bookstores, history, and stories.
Old friends, new friends, store clerks, and waiters.
Jazz, Polka, Blues, Beethoven, Beatles, and Bluegrass.
Fun, laughter, corny jokes, pranks, and goofy things.
Playing Snake, Hunkerhouser, Balloonball, and Carpetball.
Settlers of Catan, Rook, Othello, Monopoly, and Chess.
Road trips, scenic views, foreign countries, and Minnesota.
Elephants, chimpanzees, ducks, chickens, and the platypus.
Guitars, pianos, harmonicas, fiddles, mandolins, and kazoos.
Old B&W movies, old cars, old Houses, and old people.
Chinese food, Italian food, Greek food, and Mom's food.
Sweaters, mud boots, ties, two tone shoes, and funny hats.
Rain, the first snow, and the changing seasons(especially Fall).

Ministry, biking, reading, long walks, and cute kids.

Going to concerts, writing silly songs, and singing in harmony.

Siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, and grandparents.

Letters, birthday cards, photo albums, Christmas, and Thanksgiving.

The colors blue, orange, and green(especially blue).

Blogging, reading blogs, writing and receiving comments.

...and Sarah Dill.

Blackie, Susy, and Spring.

2008-04-27T21:24:00.002-05:00

Today at work the residents and I wrote poems together. Some them quite funny so I thought I would share them as an atonement for not posting in such a long time.

"A Cat Named Blackie"

There once was a cat

Whose name was Blackie

In the water fell flat

Now isn't that wacky

She scrambled on out

And shook herself dry

And then she did pout

And then she did cry

"Craig and Susy"

There once was a girl

Whose name was Susy

She had a curl

That was a duesy

Until it rained

And all went strait

And so she wore curlers

On her date

Her date was Craig

Dressed in red

Saw her hair

And turned and fled

"Spring Is Here"

Flowers in the garden

Green grass and lilys

Showers everyday

And birds acting silly

Robins, Larks, and Blue Jays

Singing in the trees

Caterpillars, funny bugs

And busy buzzing bees

Playing in the yard

Winter finally done

Planting in the garden

And Summer yet to come

How to make a Lemon Raffle Basket.

2008-04-08T20:00:00.003-05:00

First, gather the necessary items:

one basket

one clear and aesthetically pleasing vase

one clear small glass

one container of Lemonade mix

two green puzzle books(one Sudoku and one word find)

one bag of Lemon Cookies

one ripe but not mushy lemon

one also ripe but also not mushy lime

one roll of brown paper

and no pineapples(I thought about it though)

Second, take the brown paper to Betsy's house and shred it in her paper shredder producing long shredded things.

Third, fill the bottom the basket with brown paper shredded things.

Fourth, assemble the items in a forward facing and layered fashion in such a way as to make all the items visible.

Fifth, use the remaining brown paper shredded things to pack in the items without covering them or their labels.

Last, compose a clever and slightly humorous note for display in front of the basket.

This has been a BOBMADE educational project.

A special thanks to our consultants: Elizabeth Cradic, Sarah Dill, and Mom.

Thank you for joining us!

Things I learned in Jamaica: #2

2008-04-08T10:39:00.002-05:00

Make lots of interesting friends.

My Grandpa is very good at making friends, and we spent a lot of time visiting. We went all over the island. Some people knew he was going to be there and came out to meet him. Many were out on little farms and in rural areas. It had been quite a while since my grandparents had been to the island, but everywhere we went people recognized Grandpa. They all seem to be interesting people with stories. The picture above is of a store owned be a Chinese couple who moved to Jamaica to start a business. They knew Grandpa right away. There were a few friends we looked for but couldn't find. We spent an afternoon looking for a one armed taxi driver named Jolly, and poked around a bit for a blind saw player.

The Greatness of God.

2008-04-06T21:41:00.006-05:00

I am constantly amazed at God's goodness. When I am aligned with His will He makes my life a roller coaster. A really great rollercoaster. I am learning so much right now, and this weekend was stupendous!
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Friday night was the first session of the Minnesota Christian Convention, and the speaker was Matt Proctor from Ozark Christian College. He gave three messages throughout the weekend on the topic of God's Greatness. (AMEN!) They were all inspiring, but what I especially enjoyed was his workshop on Heaven. (I can't wait!) The worship, other workshops, and seeing friends were also good.
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This morning Aaron preached on "Conditions for Answered Prayer" which proved to be another thought provoking sermon. Then came Sunday school. Oh boy! We had so much fun playing Snake Tag! (Have you ever played Snake Tag?) It wore me out. Afterwards it was already time to start painting the set for VBS in June. That was fun. The children's ministry people here are all servant minded and fun.
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To cap it all off, I finally got out to Betsy and Winn's soon to be house they are remodeling. Their old house sold and they need to move in 2 weeks and 5 days. Obviously they've been working feverishly to finish it so that they can move, and I've been really curious to see what it is like. It was awful! It is going to take so much work to get it livable. But that is what is so great about Winn and Betsy: they can look at things that aren't so good on the outside, and see the potential underneath. Then they invest their time energy into giving it it's fullest potential. They did it for me, and currently for a lucky little boy I know. It makes a fellow feel pretty good to be surrounded by such great people. God is so good.

Things I learned in Jamaica: #1

2008-04-04T10:00:00.003-05:00

Most of you know that Dad and Polly just recently got back from another Jamaica trip. It made me a little jealous and very nostalgic. I thoroughly enjoyed my trip with Grandpa last summer. I'm not sure that I taught anybody anything, but the experience was an eye opener for me.

I learned Hospitality.

From the moment we arrived everyone went out of their way to help us and make us comfortable. The Christians there kept offering us places to stay, driving us around, and asking us to dinner. Many of them cleared their schedule to facilitate us.

We stayed with sister Dulcie(2nd from the left) in Mandeville for the first 10 or 11 days. She has a room in here house where all the missionaries stay. It makes me think of the Shunemite women who kept a room for Elisha. She was a great lady and an extraordinary cook.

A Psalm of Laughter.

2008-04-01T09:55:00.007-05:00

God,
Thank You for laughter.
Thank You for mirth and Joy.
Thank You for making me laugh till milk comes out my nose
or I'm out of breath and tears roll down my cheeks.

Thank You for the way You use laughter to take the tension out of a situation
and make people friends again.
Thank You that we can't be joyful and angry at the same time.

Thank You for the silly thoughts that pop into my head.

Thank You for special people to laugh with
who laugh in silly ways.
Thank You for snorts, giggles, hohos, belly jiggles, and blasts.

Thank You for the way You teach me through funny situations.
Like the time I got stuck to the car
and You showed me how helpless I am
or the times I've locked myself out of places
and You've taught me how easily I forget things
or the many times I've gotten lost
and You've shown me how easily my best laid plans are disrupted.

Thank You for the times You've taught me patience, humility, and joy.
Thank You for softening some of the harder lessons
by making them seem funny.

And thank You for answering my prayer last night when I was so depressed
and cheering me up with Your well placed joke, weeks in the making.
I can see You were saving that just for the right moment. Thanks.

The Weather and the Gospel of Luke.

2008-04-01T09:16:00.005-05:00

Once again Minnesota has April fooled us. Here we are enjoying are first "spring" snow. It's not that bad though. Actually everybody should have been happy this week since we had about every kind of weather. A little something for everyone.

Yesterday I began rereading the gospel of Luke. It's one of my favorites. I like Luke's stress on accuracy and his attention to detail. Not that the others are inaccurate, but Luke "investigated everything carefully" and wrote it out in "consecutive order" so that we could know "the exact truth". I like that. There's a certain order to Luke's writing. Both of his books are about the same size and run together perfectly. I like it that he includes Mary's praises in chapter one. It helps me understand her. He must have known Mary because he talks a lot about her perspective and he includes a story from Jesus' childhood. Anyway, I haven't gotten very far yet and I've already been enjoying his little details.

Wanted: Funny Betsy quotes.

2008-03-30T22:09:00.004-05:00

I am somewhat of a family historian when it comes to funny quotes. For quite some time I have been writing down all the funny things they say and have amassed quite a collection. However, I have not managed to get any from Betsy. I have everybody else, but not Betsy. I'm not sure why. It surely doesn't mean she's more articulate. I know she has to have said something so please wrack your brains and send me a quote or two.

As for the others, here are some of the latest:

"Peggy, you may be an evolutionary breakthrough! You might be a missing link!"
-Jimmy, 3/18/08

"I'm just a good little boy."
-Billy, 3/22/08

Cate: "How old is Betsy?"
Carrie: "28"
Cate: "Whoa... that's old!"
"How old is Jessica?"
Carrie: "30"
Cate: "Whoa."
"How old are you?"
Carrie: "27"
Cate: "That's kinda old."
-3/27/08

A Psalm of Surrender.

2008-03-27T22:05:00.003-05:00

God,
You rule, You call the shots.
You pontificate.

You are creative, authentic, and innovative.

You are the Conductor and Composer; the world is Your opus, and those who love You are Your orchestra.
You are the Artist, and i am surrounded by Your masterpieces.
You are the Architect, and creation is Your monument, and the earth is full of Your workers.

only in You do i find peace.
only in You do i find comfort.
only in You can i be free of my entanglements.

wash me and clothe me in white.
clean me; rid me of filth and stains.

i long to be Your tool.
i want the blessings that come from serving You.

You are my God.
make me Your sidekick.
take me along for the ride.

i believe that if i worship You, love and obey You, then You will give me a spectacular life.

please, give me wisdom, and the assurance that comes with a clean conscience.

Beautiful Day.

2008-03-27T21:39:00.007-05:00

Two of my sisters are up visiting from Iowa(Jessica and Carrie) along with their various kids. I like having my family around. My nephews and niece are creative and fun. I really like doing uncle things like changing the dining room table into a fort, making monster masks, and telling stories.
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Tonight the house is full of all kinds of family conversing, teasing, and running around. Until just a moment ago there was a rowdy game of laser tag going on outside.

Who is your favorite fictional character?

2008-03-25T09:20:00.003-05:00

Polls are fun, but you can't tell who said what and they don't leave room for clever answers. So in the interest of mental development, common amusement, and posterity:

Who is your favorite fictional character?

Psalm 51.

2008-03-20T09:41:00.004-05:00

The Retreat this year was superb. It was great to see everyone. Kevin Bibbee gave three great messages out of Psalm 51. The psalm is the one David wrote after his sin with Bathsheba. So that got me rereading and it was a great reminder. Here are some of the lessons that I see in the story:

1. Beware boredom/idleness. Satan tempted David at night when he couldn't sleep. David probably should have been at the battle.

2. Be careful where you look. Guard your eyes.

3. One sin leads to more sin. It started with David taking a second look that he shouldn't have, and it ended with David having Uriah killed.

4. Sin hurts our witness. Nathan said that David's sin gave God's enemies occasion to blaspheme.

5. Sin hurts other people. As a direct result of his sin their first child died.

6. You can't hide your sin. In spite of his best efforts David's sin became public. God already knew anyway.

7. God is merciful. In spite of everything God showed David mercy.

8. God can use it for good. David and Bathsheba parent the next king and ultimately become ancestors of Christ.

Blink.

2008-03-04T15:56:00.003-06:00

This book may end up being my book of the year. It was superb I highly recommend it. It has affected the way I make decisions.
-
The website, http://www.gladwell.com/blink/, says "It's a book about rapid cognition, about the kind of thinking that happens in a blink of an eye." To me it was about the the amazing and complex way our mind works.
-
It is not necessarily written from a christian perspective, but I came away with a greater respect for the way God made me. It was full of new, interesting, and relevant research, and covered everything from reading facial expressions in a marriage to racial prejudice. I found it fascinating, and I think everyone who has a brain should read it.

Moving.

2008-02-25T23:54:00.004-06:00

I am going to be moving soon. I'm not sure where though. The apartment I really want won't be open til the end of March/beginning of April so I will probably be staying with my folks for another month. Anyway, the lease is up Friday, so I've been packing, sorting, and throwing away. If you are what you own than I am a lot books, scattered files, and laundry.
-
The good thing about moving is that I've found all kinds of stuff like one of my name tags from work, two remotes, and some Mandolin strings I'd been looking for. The bad thing about moving is that I lost my keys.

Corny Jokes I Like.

2008-02-21T20:18:00.004-06:00

What happens when ducks fly upside down?
They quack up.

What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

Where does a two-ton gorilla sit?
Anywhere he wants.

How do you keep a snow from smelling?
You plug his nose.

Why does a hummingbird hum?
He doesn't know the words.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
"Thank you, I'll never part with this."

If you know any good(or just corny) ones then post them. I use them at work.

The Winter Retreat 2008.

2008-02-20T13:18:00.003-06:00

Alright a lot of you have been asking me about the Winter Retreat. You should all come. Here is the flyer as seen on http://embitsandpieces.blogspot.com/:

The speaker, Kevin Bibbee, is from the Church at Woodberry. I've heard him speak before and enjoyed it. The poster says skits, sledding, broomball, and a singspiration, so about the best weekend you could possibly have.

Stupendous Sunday.

2008-02-19T16:39:00.002-06:00

Last Sunday was a lot of fun so I thought I'd share.

I got up at about 8:15 AM with just the right amount of time to shower and be ready for Church at 9. I drove Peggy, Jimmy, and Billy. We arrived just on time. The service was great containing only one awkward moment when the lady at the other end of the row tried passing the communion plate across the gap between us because none of my siblings sat with me(nobody loves me). The Sermon was on "The Holiness of God" and I only guessed 1 of the 4 possible blanks giving me 25 points. We closed with a lively chorus of "I'll fly away" with me singing a vigorous bass.

At about 10:15 I made my way into the kitchen for a cookie and chat with my fellow munchers and Bev. At 10:30 I was on my way down to Sunday School. The lesson was on prayer and the craft was a construction paper chain(the kids at my table made one that was declared to be "taller than Bob"). Afterwards all the children's ministry workers met for pizza(which was superb).

The afternoon was filled with sledding of a death defying nature. I got many good rides down the hill including several back breaking trips, high speed, trips with Steve Kirk. We then adjorned back to the church building for a chilli supper, after a quick stop to pick up our donation of chips and pop from Hyvee.

To close it all off Jimmy and Billy helped me put together another goofy post. All in all, good food, excellent company, cold fun, and grade schoolers, made it a great day.

Super Bob.

2008-02-18T00:21:00.023-06:00

SUPER BOB SAVES CITY!!!

Yesterday afternoon the city was once again saved by our mysterious hero, Super Bob. At approximately 10 AM the 1st State Bank was robbed at gunpoint. $100,000, a wig, two packs of gum, and a Dodge Neon were stolen. According to witnesses at the scene, the crook was heard to yell, "You ain't heard the last of me!" before driving off. Similiar robberies continued all over the city throughout the day.

Mayor James Snodgrass, in an interview, declared that the city police department would not rest until they had their man. Interviewing him was the Bulletin's own mild mannered reporter, Bob Kent. "The Mayor was clearly distressed throughout the entire interview." Bob Kent says. "He was eating his cigar and smoking his sandwich."

With his usual dedication, Kent, has followed the entire story, going as far as to stake out possible robbery sites in hopes of getting an interview with the crook. His patience nearly paid off, for, after interviewing the nervous staff at 2nd State Bank, he barely missed his chance. At about 4:30 PM the thief entered the bank carrying a revolver. Bystanders tried to call for help, but the phone booth was in use. The thief loaded his bag with the contents of the safe and was about to make his get-away when someone shouted, "Look! Up in the Sky! It's a blimp! It's a duck. It's Super Bob!" Super Bob swooped in from above, catching the former bank robber by complete surprise. Once again our slightly balding hero, Super Bob, has saved the day. "It was like a miracle." said one dazed pedestrian. "Super Bob is my hero."

The soon unmasked thief turned out to be none other than the infamous Babyface Blanshan, now safely on his way to what promises to be a long stay at the state pen. Super Bob was, however, unavailable for comment after disappearing into the clouds shortly after Babyface was cuffed. Bob Kent confirms that shortly afterward all missing items were recovered from Babyface's hideo,t discovered in his mother's basement.

"I knew we would get our man." said Mayor Snodgrass. "It's a lesson to all would be bank robbers in the fair city of Rochester." City officials are seeking to locate our mysterious hero in order to thank him properly.

Bike Across Minnesota.

2008-02-16T20:31:00.003-06:00

Here is my summer project. I am going to do a lot of biking this summer then take the week before Jackpine off and bike across Minnesota, South to North. It will be about 426 miles in five days, but I think I can do it. I've always wanted to, and I may not get another chance so that's my goal.

Is Evolution Compatable with the Genesis Record? (part one)

2008-02-13T10:42:00.001-06:00

A June 5, 2006 Gallup Poll study says that 36% of people believe that man evolved, God guided. This indicates a common trend of people who believe in God and yet believe that evolution is a proven fact and so are trying to make the two compatible. I often hear people say that they believe that God used evolution to create the world. Which raises the question, "is evolution campatable with Genesis?" This is a big discussion that we need to have so that we have an answer.

First let's assume that the Bible is literal, does the text leave room for evolution? Not as far as I can see, and here's why:
1. Genesis not only speaks of creation happening in six days, but it also defines a day.
"God called the light day, and the darkness He called night." - Genesis 1:5
Then after each day, Genesis, describes the day.
"And there was evening and there was morning..." - Genesis 1:5,8,13,19,23,&31
If each day was a billion years than, according to Genesis, it would have been light the whole billion years.
2. Plants and animals were to reproduce "after their kind". - Genesis 1:11&12
3. Death, at least for mankind isn't around until the first sin which is after everything has been created. Genesis 3:4&19
4. The Sun, Moon and stars aren't created until day 4. We wouldn't have had seasons on the earth until a full day after the plants were created on day 3.

It is hard to mesh evolution with a literal view of Genesis.

Here are two links to the Gallup Poll videos on the subject:
http://www.gallup.com/video/23188/CreationEvolution.aspx
http://www.gallup.com/video/27838/Evolution-Beliefs.aspx

Limericks.

2008-02-12T20:00:00.000-06:00

My friend, Martha, got me on limericks lately. Here are some of my favorites:

When you are old

and think you're sweet

take off your shoes

and smell your feet

I saw you in the ocean

I saw you in the sea

I saw you in the bathtub

Oops, pardon me

Last night as I lay on my pillow

Last night as I lay on my bed

I stuck both my feet out the window

in the morning my neighbors were dead

(sometimes sang to the tune "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean")

There once was a man from Peru

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe

He woke with a fright

in the middle of the night

To find that his dream had come true.

I really like Shel Silverstein. Here are some of his:

Oh, if you're a bird, be an early bird

And catch the worm for your breakfast plate.

If you're a bird, be an early bird--

But if you're a worm, sleep late.

(from "Where the Sidewalk Ends")

My beard grows to my toes,

I never wears no clothes,

I wraps my hair

Around my bare,

And down the road I goes.

(also from "Where the Sidewalk Ends")

There's too many kids in this tub.

There's too many elbows to scrub.

I just washed a behind

That I'm sure wasn't mine,

There's too many kids in this tub.

(from "A Light in the Attic")

Fridge Pics.

2008-02-11T13:14:00.001-06:00

Last week in Sunday school the kids drew these pictures for me. I thought you might want to see them.
Bailey drew this for me entitled, "Killer Bug" complete with poison with spewing out of its mouth.

This one Sarah drew of her brother who was home sick.
Here are some monsters by Noah.
This is the one I drew.

A Guide to Successful Kissing (Lesson Two).

2008-02-10T19:46:00.001-06:00

In our last lesson we talked about the questions everyone should ask before they kiss. Now it's time to learn a successful approach. Don't get nervous. Just listen to the voice of experience. In just a few simple steps you too can create that perfect kiss. Carefully study and practice these simple steps, and you will see that kissing can be as easy as a W.A.L.K. in the park.

1. WATCH
Good kissing requires proper observation. Look for the right moment and candidate.*

2. AIM

A good approach is poised and graceful. Take careful aim to be sure you hit your mark. Many would here argue that for effect you should close your eyes. DON'T!!! The eskimos may favor bumping noses, but we are trying to create the perfect kiss. Keep your eyes open.

3. LEAN

Begin your approach, lips puckered, yet always aware of your prospect's reaction in case of a possible last minute abort. You don't want to lose the opportunity for many kisses by kissing too soon.**

4. KISS

Lips and mind at the ready as you create the perfect moment of twitterpated bliss.

Study, repeat, and remember these steps. You may find it useful to write them on a 3 by 5 card and stick them in your pocket. Keep your spirits up. Michaelangelo didn't paint a masterpiece the first time he picked up a brush. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again, and one day you will W.A.L.K. away with someone's heart.

* (see lesson one: http://rjblanshan.blogspot.com/2007/10/guide-to-successful-kissing-lesson-one_28.html)

** If you are already beginning your Lean and you suddenly sense reticence, be ready to abort with one of the following:

a) Pretend to be falling forward and exclaim, "Oops!!"

b) Pretend you are leaning in to hear her talk and say, "I'm sorry, I can't hear very well. What did you say?" For effect you may cup your ear with your hand.

If your lips are already puckered then:

a) Say, "Do I have anything on my lip? I think I might be getting a cold sore."

b) Start whistling a light hearted tune.

Wikinomics.

2008-02-08T20:03:00.000-06:00

I'm on a bit of a rereading spree.(mostly because I spend to much money on books) Right now I am rereading Wikinomics. The book is basically discussing the affects that the internet and mass collaboration are having on society and business. It is very good and I highly recomend it.

* * * * * *

We are now full into the information age, and a gazillion resources are literally at our fingertips. Even this blog is evidence of much the internet is(or can be) a part of our lives. Because of these new capabilities many companies are outsourcing to other countries, whole businesses can be created online with little capitol over night, and the news media is slowly being taken over by independant bloggers. It is an interesting phenomenon, and it is causing the world to chage fast.

* * * * * *

My question is: how will this affect our lives in the future?
(PS-I cannot get my spell checker to work tonight and it wont let me upload a picture. Sorry to all of you who wont be able to concentrate.)

Mitt Romney Drops Out.

2008-02-07T12:53:00.000-06:00

Just thought you might want to know: Mitt Romeny just announced that he's out of the race and he didn't endorse Huckabee. So now Mccain is decidedly the Republican candidate. What do we do now?

Super Tuesday.

2008-02-06T12:56:00.000-06:00

Last night I tried to make it to the caucuses, but I ended up working to late. I feel a little guilty about it, but there was nothing I could do. Peggy is going to me mad at me though.

So here's how it currently stands: Mccain has emerged the clear front runner and Romney lost ground to Huckabee. I think Romney or Huckabee still have a chance, but only if one of them leaves the race and endorses the other. I have to say that my preference is for Huckabee. I don't like his economic policies, but the moral issues are more important to me. I also have to admit that I'm not that confortable with voting for a mormon. Anyway I was wondering what you guys thought.

Here's a link to the Fox News coverage of yesterday:
http://youdecide08.foxnews.com/states/

Is Evolution an important topic?

2008-02-04T14:08:00.000-06:00

Okay, so the whole Evolution vs. Creation debate has always been a hot topic for me. So here are my reasons why it is such an important topic to me:

• Evolution is an attack on God’s sovereingty.

“It is He who made the earth by His power,Who established the world by His wisdom;And by His understanding He has stretched out the heavens.”Jeremiah 10:12 (NASB)

“Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.”Revelation 4:11 (NASB)

If God is Creator, He made us, He understands us, He owns us, He can provide for us, and He is worthy of praise.

• Creation is essential to salvation.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”Psalm 51:10 (NASB)

If God is Creator, He can fix us.If God is Creator, He can create Heaven, and if God gives life, He can give eternal life.

• Creation is essential to marriage.

God created Adam and Eve; one man and one woman.

• Creation is essential to our character and nature.

God created us in His image (that is very different from evolving from monkeys).

• God says it’s an important topic.

“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.”Romans 1:18-25 (NASB)

• Truth is always worth discovering and fighting for.

Christians need to be equipped to give answers.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Like the Name Bob.

2008-02-03T12:52:00.000-06:00

1. It's convenient. Everybody calls me Bob so it's a good thing that's my name.
2. It's a boy's name which is good. I wouldn't want to be a Sally.
3. It is very easy to spell. Only two letters. (one used twice)
4. It implys movement. Bobber, Bobble-head, Bob and weave. The Red Red Robin doesn't come Jim-jim-jimming along. It has to be Bob.
5. It is easy to say. I often get to be one of the first word a baby says. It's only words like uncle that get in the way.
6. It's meaningful. Bob, as you know, means famous brilliance.
7. It implys maturity. Bob is a name that comes from an older generation so in print I seem mature.
8. It is dyslexic friendly. It's the same backwards and forwards.
9. I look like a Bob.
10. I was named for one of my all time heros.
11. It has many nicknames. (Bob-O, Big Bad Bob, The Bobster, Bobby)
12. A Bob by any other name wouldn't smell as sweet.
13. It suits me. I would hate to be an Ernest with the soul of a Geraldo or Bonoparte. (or vise versa)

* * * * * * *

There are a lot of famous people named Bob. I bet you could name a politician, a comedian, a vegetable, a carpenter, and someone who lives in a pineapple.

New Compelling Evidence That Bald People Are Happier.

2008-01-31T21:22:00.000-06:00

A recent study conducted by this blog of nearly a dozen photographs confirms that bald people are indeed happier.

Bob's Vote.

2008-01-29T18:26:00.000-06:00

Okay, so here is what I've decided to do: If the Presidential candidate is Huckabee or Romney, I will(as Dad puts it) hold my nose and vote Republican. If, however, the candidate is McCain or Giuliani, I will vote third party.

* * * * * *

So, all of you who had been anxiously wondering, you can stop holding your breath.

Penless Church.

2008-01-27T13:15:00.000-06:00

Okay. So today I forgot to bring a pen to church(I'm still working on remembering my Bible), and it greatly affected my ability to concentrate. I always doodle, write down important ideas that the sermon brings to mind, and I always ALWAYS play the sermon game. The sermon game is a game of my own invention to help people with short attention spans(like me).

* * * * * * * *

Every week the sermon outline is in the bulletin. I simply guess what the blanks are going to be and fill them in before he says them. Your score is whatever percentage of the blanks you fill in correctly. Like last week I got 0% therefore I got 0 points. And you have to fill in the word exactly.

* * * * * * * *

Today however, I didn't have a pen. At first I thought it would be alright, but then I began to get sleepy, and in trying to stay awake I got antsy. Throughout the whole sermon I was slowly descending into madness until I was a complete wreck. By the time we stood for the last song(which I stood up a little too quickly for) I had so many tidbits and sermon thoughts to remember that I couldn't think at all and as soon as the first person talked to me I lost all of them.

* * * * * * * *

Fortunately for me Billy gave me his copy of the sermon notes, but still it will probably be a little while before I forget to bring a pen to church. Hopefully.

The God Delusion.

2008-01-25T11:16:00.000-06:00

I just recently reread The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins the bestselling atheist author. I had first bought it because it was heralded as being the best written defense of atheism there is. I was sadly disappointed.

Dawkins says the book contains four "consciousness-raising" messages:
1. Atheists can be happy, balanced, moral, and intellectually fulfilled.
2. Natural Selection and similar scientific theories are superior to a "God hypothesis" — the illusion of intelligent design — in explaining the living world and the cosmos.
3. Children should not be labelled by their parents' religion. Terms like "Catholic child" or "Muslim child" should make people flinch.
4. Atheists should be proud, not apologetic, because atheism is evidence of a healthy, independent mind.

This list aught to tip you off that he ends up spending more time talking about being an atheist than telling us why we should be. It was a good experience for me though because I got to see the way he was arguing. The over all tone in the book is a little whiney. He is frustrated that parents are succeeding in teaching God to their children, and tries to say that believing in God has a negative affect on society. He try to say that God is bad and therefore we shouldn't believe in him.

It makes me wonder why atheist care. If they believe that God doesn't exist than believing He exists would surely have no eternal significance.

Anyway, if this book is the best that atheists have to offer than Christians can feel very secure in their faith indeed.

Representative Bob.

2008-01-24T13:02:00.000-06:00

I was just appointed the Olmsted County Chapter of MN SWAP(Minnesota Statewide Activity Professionals) Representative. It was quite a surprise. Mostly it means I'll be getting paid to go to meetings and I'll help plan events, but it does give me a lot contacts in the business and it looks good on a resume.

Fred Thompson pulls out.

2008-01-23T13:12:00.000-06:00

My man Fred Thompson just pulled out of the race so it leaves me in an interesting position. There are five candidates left and I don't like any of them. So do I vote for someone who matches my values and go third party, or do I vote for the most conservative choice that I think has a chance of winning?

I'm not a big fan of outcome based voting.

Good Poems.

2008-01-20T13:58:00.000-06:00

I have this book of poems I really like. It's called "Good Poems", and it's compiled by Garrison Keillor. Here are some of my favorites:

Routine

Arthur Guiterman

No matter what we are and who,

Some duties everyone must do:

A Poet puts aside his wreath

To wash his face and brush his teeth,

And even Earls

Must comb their curls,

And even Kings

Have underthings.

The Village Burglar

Anonymous

Under the spreading gooseberry bush

The village burglar lies;

The burglar is a hairy man

With whiskers round his eyes.

He goes to church on Sundays;

He hears the Parson shout;

He puts a penny in the plate

And takes a shilling out

Authorship

James B(all) Naylor

King David and King Solomon

Led merry, merry lives,

With many, many lady friends

And many, many wives;

But when old age crept over them,

With many, many qualms,

King Solomon wrote the Proverbs

And King David wrote the Psalms

Top 10 Goals in Life.

2008-01-18T23:29:00.000-06:00

1. Get a Pilot's license and a small airplane.
2. Write a best selling novel.
3. Court a beautiful girl who laughs at my jokes and can balance my checkbook.
4. Bike across Minnesota(the long way).
5. Hold a political office.
6. Win a poker tournament.
7. Finish college.
8. Restore a 1932 Deluxe Duesenberg Roadster.
9. Catch a football and run it for a touchdown.
10. Invent and market the perfect recipe for root beer.

Bonus:
11. Design and build my own house.
12. Perform at the Grand Ole Opry to a sold out audience.
13. Learn how to juggle at least five oranges.
14. Live to my 115th birthday.
15. Bowl a perfect game.
16. Retire financially secure.

The funniest quotes of 2007.

2007-12-28T22:01:00.000-06:00

"It helps me make funny faces if I concentrate."
-Billy
(Next year we are all buying him Orange Juice.)

"Roses are red,
violets are blue,
Jimmy is naughty and needs a spanking."
-Billy

"Bob, stop being funny in the dark!"
-Peggy
(She believes you shouldn't be funny if no one is watching.)

"If you kept a record of all of the things I've said, you could write a book for stupid people."
-Peggy

"I have to wake up at 6:30 every morning just to turn my alarm clock off."
-Billy

"Violets are blue
roses are pink
Grandma married Grandpa
before she stopped to think."
-Peggy
(Written for their 60th Anniversary.)

"I'm trying to think what my thoughts were."
-Polly

USED BY PERMISSION
(Jimmy's permission)

Christmas Morning.

2007-12-25T13:40:00.001-06:00

Christmas morning this year has been entirely different. Usually we are up super early to open stockings and presents. This year Dad woke the boys and I up at 8:15, and when we got upstairs the girls were still in bed.
Pretty good haul this year though. The gloves are from Grandpa, and Peggy made the hat. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to model them.
I think it was all a little to exciting for Grandpa.

Peggy also made this scarf for Mom.

After presents we watched "Arsenic and Old Lace" another present from Polly. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Grandpa's song.

2007-12-24T22:45:00.000-06:00

Twas the night before Christmas and Grandpa was mocking everything read. We always read Luke 2, Matthew 2, "Twas the night before Christmas.", and Dad reads the Bob Cratchet Christmas from "A Christmas Carol". This year though we were all laughing at the funny comments people were making. Ben and Lori Beard were here, and Lori was giggling the whole time.

Grandpa said he wanted to find the words to an old song his father used to sing. So we introduced him to the wonders of the Internet, and quicker than you can say Google, we found it for him. It's kind of a silly song.

Winter.

2007-12-23T13:40:00.000-06:00

Well, Christmas is almost here and I'm not done shopping. I'm having trouble finding a gift. The worst part is that I wanted all the names to be secret so now I can't ask anyone for advice.

It's snowing outside right now and everything is white and quite. I love this time of year. It's really cold outside, but I think it makes it seem more cozy in here. Hot chocolate is always better when it's cold outside. You have to bundle up, but it makes it more of an adventure to go places. It makes me feel tough and Minnesotan.

Books of the Bible.

2007-12-01T08:20:00.000-06:00

Can you find thirty (30) books of the Bible in this paragraph? Actually, there are 31 if you can find the variant of one Old Testament prophet's name.

There are 30 books of the Bible in this paragraph. Can you find them? This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket, on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much, he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his john boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That's a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalized. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or a scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new record. The local paper, The Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, "The books are all right here in plain view hidden from sight." Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude will help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus; there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph waiting to be found. God Bless.

This is an old e-mail forward I've always liked. Tell me how well you did.

Don Knotts.

2007-11-30T22:47:00.000-06:00

Here are some hilarious Don Knotts sketches.

http://www.worldofcheese.org/local/track4.mp3

http://www.worldofcheese.org/local/track6.mp3

http://www.worldofcheese.org/local/track2.mp3

What's up.

2007-11-25T16:28:00.000-06:00

I never get to blog any more. I don't have internet access. So here is what has been happening:

Our family had our big Thanksgiving get together, and it was a big success. We had 78 people by my count. We ate, played games, sang, played "Who's line is it anyway?", and had our pictures taken. It was great! All my siblings were there.

Mom cut my hair on Saturday so I had her take before and after pictures. I am so photogenic!!! She also took one of my baldspot.

Today was my younger brother Billy's birthday. He turned 14 years old. We all met at Mom and Dad's for pizza and presents.

And I was going through a bunch of old papers and I found two awards that I had won in one of Dad's clean room contests. Good thing he doesn't inspect my rooom anymore.

Now you should be about caught up.

The Top Ten Movies of All Time

2007-11-19T22:12:00.000-06:00

1. It's A Wonderful Life(1946)
Directed by: Frank Capra Starring: James Stewart and Donna Reed
Liberty Films

2. Goodbye, Mr. Chips(1939)
Directed by: Sam Wood Starring:Robert Donat
Book by: James Hilton
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

3. Arsenic and Old Lace(1944)
Directed by: Frank Capra Starring: Cary Grant
Warner Brothers

4. Casablanca(1942)
Directed by: Michaal Curtiz Starring: Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman
Warner Brothers

5. 12 Angry Men(1957)
Directed by: Sidney Lumet Starring: Henry Fonda
Orion-Nova Productions

6. Roman Holiday(1953)
Directed by: William Wyler Starring: Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck
Paramount Pictures

7. The Grapes of Wrath(1940)
Directed by: John Ford Starring: Henry Fonda and Jane Darwell
Book by: John Steinbeck
Twentieth Century Fox

8. The Petrified Forest(1936)
Directed by: Archie Mayo Starring: Leslie Howard, Bette Davis, and Humphrey Bogart
Warner Brothers

9. To Kill A Mockingbird(1962)
Directed by: Robert Mulligan Starring: Gregory Peck
Book by: Harper Lee
Brentwood Productions

10. The Gold Rush(1925)
Directed by and starring: Charlie Chaplin
Charlie Chaplin Productions

Jessica Meets Camera.

2007-11-10T09:24:00.000-06:00

This a great video of my sister. We just got our new camera, and she hasn't figured out what end to look through.

Sorry Jessica.

The Migration of the Balding Buffalo.

2007-11-09T20:29:00.000-06:00

"Down the winding bumpy trail
That leads from east to west
Goes the Balding Buffalo
To where the grass is best."

Some of my talented artwork. It's been on Mom's fridge for months.

A guide for short people (part 2)

2007-11-08T18:08:00.001-06:00

CAREER OPTIONS FOR SHORT PEOPLE

So many young short people dreamed of playing for the NBA and had their hopes dashed. However, there are a number of competitive fields that are advantageous for the shorts. Here are a few:

Plumber (the less plumbers have to bend over the better it is for us all)

Miner (any job with low ceilings is going to give short people an advantage)

Sewage Worker (especially good for the workaholic sewage work often leaves you up to your ears in work)

Shoe Polisher (this has great job security because most people have shoes)

Jobs that involve Flying (try sitting in a plane with long legs)

Foot Doctor (even better job security; almost everyone has feet)

Tailor (there must be jobs in this field because evidently all clothes are made by short people)

Submarine Sailor/Jet Pilot (both occupations where you are not allowed to be over a certain height)

Tunnel Rat (another military job; basically you go into an enemy tunnel, kill the enemy, and blow up the tunnel; they only allow shorts and the shorts can have it)

Astronaut (Astronauts are not allowed to be over 6 foot 4 inches)

Roller Coaster Designer (again there must be jobs in this field because roller coasters are designed by short people because I am not allowed to ride the best roller coasters)

If you had your heart set on athletics don't give up. There is still hope. Here are some sports that give short people an advantage: Limbo, Jockey, Weight Lifting (if you are short you don't have to lift as far), Professional Hide-and-go-seek, Dodge ball, and Baseball (smaller strike zone).

The Beards and Blanshans

2007-11-03T23:50:00.001-05:00

The Beard family is down to move Ben onto the college campus. Of course this brought on a delightful evening of visiting, eating, and singing. They are going to stay the night and go to church with us in the morning. Ben of course will be staying indefinitely.

Here is one of my favorite pictures of my family. It was taken back in 1996.

My Week So Far.

2007-11-02T13:43:00.000-05:00

I haven't been able to update my blog since Sunday. Here is what happened this week (or at least the highlights):

Sunday:
Bev Campbell gave five boxes of great books. Books that I had been looking for for a long time. I spent the day sorting, reading, and doting on them.
Monday:
My favorite resident (and good friend) died. Mom and Dad gave me two bookshelves giving me a place to put the books I got from Bev and a lot of my other books.
Tuesday:
This was my day off so I only went in to work twice. We had some disaster/emergency training.
Wednesday:
The Church had a Halloween party for the kids in which I did a skit as Pecos Pete.
Thursday:
I worked over time and got my Flu Shot.

And all week I have been suffer greatly on account of my wisdom teeth.

PS- I just spell checked this and I hadn't misspelled a wrod.

PSS- Dad posted a video of the old men's quartet from Brainerd on Youtube. Here's a link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=YcSPGM85nnc

A Guide to Successful Kissing (Lesson One).

2007-10-28T23:38:00.002-05:00

Don't kiss just anyone. Random kissing sprees are both dangerous and unhealthy. Use discretion. Before kissing ask yourself a few simple questions:

1. Does this person have any infectious diseases? Many common diseases are passed through kissing, so be careful. Some, like cold sores, are obvious; others are not. If you are not sure, simply request the subject's medical records. If they refuse to comply they may be hiding something.

2. Does this person want to be kissed? Look before you leap. Pausing to ask yourself this question can save you from many embarrassing situations. Remember kissing is a lot more fun if both parties are willing participants.

3. Do they have teeth? Of course this may just be a matter of preference, but keep in mind that if they are smiling with their mouth closed they may once again be hiding something.

4. Does he or she have facial hair? While facial hair is another matter of preference you may need to adjust your angle of approach accordingly. Again: look before you leap.

5. Is the subject eligible? As a general rule: no relatives, no large age gaps, and no pets (it's just gross). Only your spouse (if you have been married long enough).

Stop. Think. Kiss (maybe). Please take the advice of an expert, and save yourself a lot of unpleasantness.

Slow Week; Busy Day.

2007-10-27T22:31:00.000-05:00

This morning I dropped Dad off at the church building, went to the gas station, dropped Polly off at work, searched fruitlessly for a bank that opened before nine AM, saw a death defying escape artist in front of the courthouse with Billy, made friends with Marjory the Walmart cashier without buying anything, and then volunteered at the church stuffing boxes of food. I then had lunch.

After lunch I checked facebook, took Jimmy and Billy to the church, went to band practice, and came home with Dad where our family had a Little Caesar's pizza supper. After supper Dad and I went to watch the Land of Lakes District Barbershop finals (Mom's treat). Besides all that I ran two stop signs (on accident), played piano, answered three emails, and had two big bowls of Ice Cream.

The funny thing is that all week things have been slow (I mean besides moving), and now today was non-stop. It was great.

PS- Peggy just scolded me for writing about her and not posting a picture (see The Remarkable Moving Van.) so here is a picture of Peg-a-lyn.

The Remarkable Moving Van.

2007-10-26T21:30:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday I moved back across the street from where I work. I already miss home. No place is quite like our home. I am back for the weekend; listening to everybody teach Peggy how to say facetious (sa-fee-shish, fa-sea-fish, sa-sea-fish, or fa-fee-shish).

(Hhhmm, when I started typing I had thought of some clever joke about how our van not only moves but is good for moving, and now I can't remember how it was going to go (wow, this is a long sentence) so I will have to say it in a less interesting way, like "I used the van to move" (not quite as interesting).) I used the van to move.

I Need Help.

2007-10-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

I was working on this poem, but now I'm stuck. Any ideas for an ending?

When I woke up this morning
I had aged a good ten years.
My childhood had gone
in way that was quite queer.

I didn't know at first.
I got up and rubbed my eyes,
but when I looked into the mirror
you can imagine my surprise.

What I saw in front of me
left me quite appalled
The fellow staring back
was definitely going bald.

The J. K. Rowling News.

2007-10-23T22:01:00.000-05:00

I have for many years been an avid Harry Potter fan. I started reading it in college. A group of us young theologians was sitting around discussing it's evils when I noticed that none of us had actually read it. After assuring myself that it was morally permissible I became somewhat of a fanatic fan.

I am now dismayed to hear J. K. Rowling "outing" one of the lead characters, Dumbledore, as being gay. When I first heard it I thought it was just a rumor, but I have now authenticated it.

I feel let down. I have not only been defending the Harry Potter books, but promoting them for the last five years. Now I find that, if you read them a certain way, the books confirm it. It makes me sick. I don't think I'll ever be able to read Harry Potter the same way. I am not sure I will be able to read them at all.

This may seem like a silly thing to be upset about, but I've taken flack for my position on Harry Potter. Now I find that the cynics were right and we are once again let down by our secular heroes.

P.S.-I don't like to post something this negative, but because I had been such an adamant supporter I thought I should respond to the news.

A Poem By My Grandpa Bob.

2007-10-22T23:13:00.000-05:00

I’ve never made a fortune and I’ll never make one now
But it really doesn’t matter 'cause I’m happy anyhow
I go along my journey. I’m reaping better than I’ve sowed
I’m drinking from the saucer ‘because my cup has overflowed

I don’t have a lot of riches. Sometimes the going’s tough
But while I’ve got friends to love me I think I’m rich enough
I’ll thank God for the blessing that His mercy has bestowed
I’m drinking from the saucer ‘because my cup has overflowed

If God gives me strength and courage when the way is steep and rough
I’ll not ask for other blessings, I’m already blessed enough
May I never be too busy to help bear another’s load
Then I’ll be drinking from the saucer ‘because my cup has overflowed

I Like To Use The Word Great In My Posts.

2007-10-21T23:01:00.000-05:00

Isn't Facebook great? I have found so many friends that I haven't seen in ages, and now I hear from them once a week or more. I am pretty much addicted. My favorite thing is to change my profile picture (I'm not sure why). I also like playing scrabulous (scrabble) even though today I finished a week-long game with Polly which I lost by one point (254 to 253, incredible).

I finally got to my ill fated appointment on Saturday to plan for Sunday school. I'd been trying to get that meeting for the last few days (see Bumbling Bob). We've got an exciting band planned for Sunday school. It's going to be great!

R.I.C.E. tonight was great. One phrase in the lesson that struck me was that most tombstones have your birth date (and we celebrate that) and your death date (which your family remembers), but the most important part is the dash (the life in between). The lesson was about how everyone has a story, God's story, and how our story and God's intersect. The worship was well lead as usual. I came away blessed. It was great.

Bumbling Bob.

2007-10-19T20:26:00.000-05:00

So here's a good example of how absent minded (scatterbrained) I am: On Sunday night I agreed to attend two meetings during the week. On Thursday night I went to Sara's, but it turned out that I was supposed to have gone to the church. I had the right night, but the wrong place. So tonight I went to Sara's, but I wasn't supposed to be there until tomorrow. I had the right place, but the wrong night. Hopefully tomorrow I will have the right night and the right place.

The Head Nurse took a look at my arm Tuesday and told me that instead of a chest X-ray I am going to retake the test in two weeks. I hate having to retake tests after I fail them. Anyway, I haven't died yet.

They were here to carpet and trim today at my folk's house. It looks great! They are getting a new couch tomorrow and I am very excited. There are never enough couches in the world.

MEDITATE YOUR BALDNESS AWAY WITH THE BOB BLANSHAN BALDNESS SOLUTION!

2007-10-18T22:16:00.000-05:00

Having a hard time parting with your hair? Is the time of the comb over? Have you said goodbye to your wave? Is your skin lonely? Is your dome shiny?

If your hair isn’t there, then you need the Bob Blanshan Baldness Solution! In five easy steps you can turn your billiard into a mop, and regain your confidence. Just listen to what our satisfied customer’s have been saying:

Howdy Bob,
Hair was stranger in this here part until I started using the Bob Blanshan Baldness Solution. Now the gals are after me like stampeding cattle.
Thanks,
Tex

Dear Bob,
I used to sit by the river and dream of me with a light brown hair, but now my dreams are a reality. With the Bob Blanshan Baldness Solution, just five easy steps brought back my hair and the music.
Sincerely,
Steve

And, friends it's just that simple. You too can meditate your baldness away in just five easy steps. Gone today, hair tomorrow. Sign up now for this limited time offer.

Just Another Day.

2007-10-17T21:03:00.000-05:00

Billy participated in a benefit magic show last night for cancer patients. He did a series of tricks, and on Monday, while he was practicing, he gave me a private performance. He's getting pretty good. I have very talented siblings.

At work yesterday, the nurse took one look at my Mantoux test arm and then promptly sent me to another nurse to check her results. The test was positive so today or tomorrow I will get to have my chest X-rayed to see if I have tuberculosis. I don't know much about tuberculosis. Harold, my bus driver, thought he knew somebody who had died from it (Harold is not known for his tact). Evidently there are a lot of ways to test positive though so I probably wont die.

When I got home I was accidentally (I hope) locked out again. Fortunately our upright piano was outside so I treated a stray cat to some music (the cat evidently didn't care for it and left early). After awhile it started to rain so I had cover the piano back up and wait under the eaves. But I had a chair, the "Three Musketeers" to read, and by wiggling my foot every so often I was able to keep the motion sensor light on.

Also, every year, because my family is so big, we draw names for Christmas, and I always put up a big stink about how the names aren't kept secret (seems like it would be a better surprise). This year they have decided to placate me. Betsy drew the names and sent us each a secret email to tell us whose name we have. It gives one a strange feeling of power to have people give in to your manipulative griping.

Lazy Day Off.

2007-10-16T22:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my day off so I basically laid around, read, played guitar, and worked on my blog.

Last night Dad, Polly, Peggy, Jimmy, Billy, and I played Dealer's Choice. Like most of our games the rules have been missing for years, but between what Dad remembered and the rules we made up it worked out. Polly won, Dad took second, and (as she reminds me) Peggy took third. I must have come in fourth or something (my lot was filled with lemons).

Today they check the results of my annual Mantoux test, and from the look of my arm I don't have tuberculosis (so you can all breath a sigh of relief).

For Those Who Are Still Wondering.

2007-10-16T11:52:00.000-05:00

In our fast paced informational society it can be hard to keep up. Things seem to change everyday, and we should all try to help those who might be slipping behind.

So, for those who are still wondering:

Elvis is dead (that person you saw was just an impersonator).
Smoking is bad for you (if you smoke you will surely die).
Top bars on glasses are out (strong glasses, but no girl).
Yes we have landed on the moon (the flag is waving because of gravity).
Mullets aren't cool (mullets aren't cool).
Ralph Nader always loses (no this is not going to be the year).
OJ Simpson is a bad guy (you don't need to feel sorry for him).
The baldness gene does not just come from the mother's side of the family (really and truly).
The Nigerians don't have money for you (disregard the letter).
John F Kennedy was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald (and the CIA is not out to get you).
You will not be prosecuted if you rip the tags off your pillows (some of you can now come out of hiding).
The Truman Show was just a movie (no one is watching).
Not all tall people play basketball (not all tall people play basketball).
Showering is a good thing (try it).
Storks don't bring babies (ask someone other than your mother).
Santa Claus isn't real (they made him up).

In spite of all the sad realities of life there are many good things to think about. Walmart employees no longer wear blue vests, you can buy White Castle burgers at the grocery store, and Kermit the frog is still working.

My Walk Home.

2007-10-15T21:45:00.000-05:00

Every evening I take the bus back from work, then (most evenings) I walk home from downtown. During the summer I enjoy this because I like to walk and see the sights. The downtown here is busy, mostly clean, and hosts a variety of interesting people.

Tonight I helped two Italians (one from Milan and the other from Rome). They said they were trying to find a library. "I walk right by it." I told them. "Come with me." It was only once I had led them way out of their way that I figured out that they were looking for the Barnes & Noble. The poor guys had been right across the street from it when they asked me. I was happy that I wasn't having their day until I got home to find myself locked out (again).

Musical Sunday

2007-10-14T22:38:00.000-05:00

After singing in church today, I went in to work to serve refreshments at a violin recital. They had the recital in the retirement center so the residents could watch. They were great. They had everything from a group of four-year-old kids playing "Twinkle, twinkle, little star" to an ensemble of adults playing "Ave Maria". It was awesome.

Tonight was the opening night for the young adult worship at church. There was a full band, a good lesson, and a lot of people. I had really been looking forward to it because all I've been able to attend is church on Sunday morning. All the small groups start before I get off in the evening. It was great to worship, pray, and study with people my own age again.

Root Beer Floats

2007-10-13T21:31:00.000-05:00

Today was my day off. I pretty much just laid around, read, and puttered at little projects. I started primed most of the bathroom downstairs, baked cookies, went to worship practice for church tomorrow, and started the book: "Wikinomics"(so far it's pretty good, but a little nerdy).

Tonight Polly, Peggy, Jimmy, Billy, and I watched an old Jackie Cooper movie and had Root Beer Floats. The Movie was "The Champ". It's about an alcoholic gambling ex-boxer who is trying to make a come back and keep his kid. It was good, but sad.

MnSWAP

2007-10-12T12:10:00.000-05:00

I just got back from a great three-day conference for Activities Professionals in St. Cloud. My employer sent me there and paid for it. There were about 500 other professionals, and some very good speakers. In the evening they had a comedy improv come and entertain us, and I got to go on stage and perform with them(my other chapter members volunteered me). It was a lot of fun and I met a lot of people. The best part is that it all counts as education in my field.

The Lakes Area Christian Church

2007-10-08T09:32:00.000-05:00

I got to preach at the Lakes Area Christian Church, in Baxter, yesterday. There were 55 people there and five of whom had been born this year. (I got to hold Briana) They had their annual meeting, and the Church seems to be blossoming. God has obviously blessed them with a great year.

It was an especially good time to be there because of fellowship dinner. Between Ruth's banana dessert and Judy's cheesy hot dish I probably gained five pounds.

Bus troubles.

2007-10-06T09:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was going to be an easy ride home. I got off work at six o'clock and the bus should have picked me up at six o'five. Zip home in 25 minutes. It must have been early. I waited fifteen minutes past due time and then hurried down the block to another bus route. This bus was supposed to pick me at 6:25. I gave up on it at 6:35 when I saw a bus coming down the other side of the street. I should have known better because there wasn't another bus scheduled, but I crossed the road. Just as it was pulling up it changed its sign to "Not In Service", and the bus I had been waiting for pulled up accross the street. I waved my arms, but she didn't see me and I couldn't get accross the street.

I finally got picked up at 7:17. By the time it got down town the route I was supposed to transfer to had stopped for the day, so I had to walk from downtown. Another day in the life of Bob.

Education and Duck Bowling.

2007-10-05T10:19:00.000-05:00

My boss told me Wednesday that I could get a degree in recreational therapy and they would pay for it. I would go to school in the mornings and work in the afternoons. The only problem is that don't pay up front; they reimburse. So I could only get the money at the end of each semester. But I think that could be dealt with. I really like my job and I think it is something I'm good at. It is definitely something I would like to pursue because it would go great with ministry.

The other exciting thing is the game I invented last night. I needed a game I could win easily because both Jimmy and Billy have now beaten me at chess(though not often). It's played a little like pool except with tennis balls and on our big dining room table. I call it: Duck Bowling. (Please don't let the name deceive you. No ducks are hurt in the course of the game.) So far I have consistently lost game after game to my younger siblings.

A guide for short people.

2007-10-04T11:15:00.001-05:00

Being tall, I hear the same set of phrases over and over again. In an attempt to end the monotony I have here written a guide for short people.

THINGS STHORT PEOPLE SAT TO TALL PEOPLE:

1-"You’re tall" While information is always appreciated it could be that most tall people are already aware of their height. It could be that they have noticed. Therefore if you would like to take the informational approach try telling them something they don't know. For instance "Did you see that great article in the newspaper today?"

2-"Do you play basketball?" Before you utter these words to another tall person consider only so many tall people can be in the NBA and that there many other uses for tall people. It could be that by constantly asking this question you are reminding this particular tall person of his athletic failures. And of course you should realize that it is stereotyping. How would you respond if a tall person asked you if you polish shoes?

3-"How tall are you?" Why is it that height is the only acceptable physical attribute to question? Maybe this particular tall person is sensitive about his height. In any event most tall people don't go around asking questions like: "How much do you weigh?" or "How old are you?"

4-"How is the weather up there?" Apparently most short people believe that the difference of a few feet could accompany a change in the weather. For those of you reading this, it does not.

5-"Could you reach this for me?" Short people must believe that all tall people were endowed with the spiritual gift of light bulb changing. Most tall people are helpful and longsuffering. However it would I think surprise short people if tall people started asking them to do chores that were inconvenient. "Would you clean under my sink?" or "Could you tie my shoes?"

6-"I can't see." You usually hear this from short people sitting behind you at church. Most short people seem to think it's the responsibility of the tall person to move instead of stepping a little to the left themselves.

7-"I wish I was tall." This is a prime case of grass not being greener on the other side of the fence. There are many disadvantages to being tall including: finding clothes, sticking out in social situations, and listening to short people say the same things over and over.

I recommend that short people when confronted with conversation with tall people choose one of the following options: (a) Think up with some new and creative remark, (b) discuss something less offensive like politics, or (c) don’t talk.

Funny Quotes

2007-09-30T19:02:00.001-05:00

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
Sir Winston Churchill
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Sir Winston Churchill
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Benjamin Franklin
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns

I love my job!

2007-09-29T18:10:00.000-05:00

I work in activities at a nursing home here in Rochester. Not long after I had started working one of the ladies motion me over. "What would you like?" I asked. "They told me I had to keep my pants on." she said. "Yes," I answered. "we would appreciate it." She sighed and said "Rules, rules, rules!"